Wow... i have no clue where to begin on this one....
Well, a few weeks ago I had asked this guy, who I liked, if he wanted to go to this event with me. He said, sure...why not. All was well, right? Not! Over the weeks in between the invitation I have slowly, but surely, begun the process of falling out of like with him. He doesn't put forth any effort on his part to even make me think that he would like me back. Just sucky!
So last week I began the process of calling, emailing, IM-ing and texting him to see if he was still up to going to the event. I didnt get a return call or smoke signal until the day of the event. 2 hours before, to be exact. I was confronted with comments like " I will meet you there", " Dang, you mean I have to come pick you up, " to "You mean I have to dress up". All of which were working my nerves before he even showed up!!!
I have to up my standards again to the point where I dont come out my house unless the guy is at my front door... no more horn honking. Iwill, also, forever require that my door be opened upon my arrival at the car and upon my exiting the car.I am also convinced that I have indeed lowered my standards over the past few years, and he was the culmination of such decline and I cant take it any more.
So, once inside of the club (Park @ 14th) he isnt really saying much as we stand in line. He doesnt say much to me as we wait to be seated. Once seated, he doesnt say much. Therefore, I begin to make my rounds to tables of people that I know. Friends who are out and about throughout the restuarant on the different levels. Love Jones is playing on all television screens and blaring through the speakers and you cant help but feel love in the air. People are all bunned up with their loves and I am stuck next to THIS dude! Is he my man? Umm, thankfully (in retrospect) No! But still!!! He is not even sitting next to me, he's updating his Facebook status, and trying to invite his brother to come to an event that I INVITED HIM TO!!!! How FUCKING RUDE!!!! I guess I am pissed because I saw so MUCH freaking potential in him.
Well, a few weeks ago I had asked this guy, who I liked, if he wanted to go to this event with me. He said, sure...why not. All was well, right? Not! Over the weeks in between the invitation I have slowly, but surely, begun the process of falling out of like with him. He doesn't put forth any effort on his part to even make me think that he would like me back. Just sucky!
So last week I began the process of calling, emailing, IM-ing and texting him to see if he was still up to going to the event. I didnt get a return call or smoke signal until the day of the event. 2 hours before, to be exact. I was confronted with comments like " I will meet you there", " Dang, you mean I have to come pick you up, " to "You mean I have to dress up". All of which were working my nerves before he even showed up!!!
I have to up my standards again to the point where I dont come out my house unless the guy is at my front door... no more horn honking. Iwill, also, forever require that my door be opened upon my arrival at the car and upon my exiting the car.I am also convinced that I have indeed lowered my standards over the past few years, and he was the culmination of such decline and I cant take it any more.
So, once inside of the club (Park @ 14th) he isnt really saying much as we stand in line. He doesnt say much to me as we wait to be seated. Once seated, he doesnt say much. Therefore, I begin to make my rounds to tables of people that I know. Friends who are out and about throughout the restuarant on the different levels. Love Jones is playing on all television screens and blaring through the speakers and you cant help but feel love in the air. People are all bunned up with their loves and I am stuck next to THIS dude! Is he my man? Umm, thankfully (in retrospect) No! But still!!! He is not even sitting next to me, he's updating his Facebook status, and trying to invite his brother to come to an event that I INVITED HIM TO!!!! How FUCKING RUDE!!!! I guess I am pissed because I saw so MUCH freaking potential in him.
He was tall, handsome, educated, loving father, comedic potential, just...perfect from the outside. I was enamoured with his voice, his looks, and his wit..... but turned off by his insecurities, lack of affection and romance, and his lack of communication.Wasted potential when it came to me having anything serious with him. There is more to the story of course, but the jist of it is that he wasnt making me happy and I know he will make some extremely happy.
Couples all around me and I get stuck with the dude who doesnt kiss, isnt affectionate, and loves his blackberry more than anything in this world. The whole experience is taking its toll on me. I am breaking down emotionally, second by second. I literally lower my head and put my hands in my head and just pray as I physically feel pain in my chest at the disappointment of the whole situation. Outside of him asking me what's wrong... or a remark about the movie here and there...that was my only form of conversation with him the entire night. I reply that nothing is wrong with me just to keep the peace out in public. I cant touch the topic because I dont want to start crying. I dont want to display my business out in public, so I just bottle it up inside. But for once..... I wish I had a guy who was "just that into me" to want to make sure that I am having a good time.
So, outside of him noticing that I straightened my hair.... I never heard a compliment that I looked nice, that the change in hair looked nice, nothing. I didnt fish for a compliment either... I just let it be. Just sucked not to get one. And of course you notice when a guy is checking out other females when they walk by.... and normally I dont mind (when my guy is treating me with respect, then he is more than welcome to look only at females that pass by) but when you are not feeling appreciated, wanted, liked..... the stares become disrespectful and feed seeds of doubt. And he had more energy in his system when he introduced me to his 3 female friends that he found in the club than in the entire 2 hours that he was near me at the table. Just hurts, that's all. Not to mention that, yes, I invited him..... but when the bill came, he immediatelya sked if he wanted me to take his money as I pay for the entire bill with my credit card. He total campe out to be about $10 w/ tax and that is exactly what he gave me... no tip, nothing! Just tactless... made me want to scream.
I tried, and I tried, and I waited as I contemplated trying again. Yet, i cant be in a situation/relationshp/friendship by myself. So, on the car ride home he is talking up a storm.... and I hate it. Disgusted by it. He rubs my arm as apart of a joke and I snatch my arm away. I cant take it. I am boiling as I sit in the passenger seat. I call a friend of mine just to fill in the silence. Left a message. I cant wait to get out of the car. I thank him for the ride.... and I close the door behind me. I immediately walk into the house and i delete him from all of my friends list and email accounts. I closed the doos onhim b/c I am tired. So..... that part of my life is over.
Couples all around me and I get stuck with the dude who doesnt kiss, isnt affectionate, and loves his blackberry more than anything in this world. The whole experience is taking its toll on me. I am breaking down emotionally, second by second. I literally lower my head and put my hands in my head and just pray as I physically feel pain in my chest at the disappointment of the whole situation. Outside of him asking me what's wrong... or a remark about the movie here and there...that was my only form of conversation with him the entire night. I reply that nothing is wrong with me just to keep the peace out in public. I cant touch the topic because I dont want to start crying. I dont want to display my business out in public, so I just bottle it up inside. But for once..... I wish I had a guy who was "just that into me" to want to make sure that I am having a good time.
So, outside of him noticing that I straightened my hair.... I never heard a compliment that I looked nice, that the change in hair looked nice, nothing. I didnt fish for a compliment either... I just let it be. Just sucked not to get one. And of course you notice when a guy is checking out other females when they walk by.... and normally I dont mind (when my guy is treating me with respect, then he is more than welcome to look only at females that pass by) but when you are not feeling appreciated, wanted, liked..... the stares become disrespectful and feed seeds of doubt. And he had more energy in his system when he introduced me to his 3 female friends that he found in the club than in the entire 2 hours that he was near me at the table. Just hurts, that's all. Not to mention that, yes, I invited him..... but when the bill came, he immediatelya sked if he wanted me to take his money as I pay for the entire bill with my credit card. He total campe out to be about $10 w/ tax and that is exactly what he gave me... no tip, nothing! Just tactless... made me want to scream.
I tried, and I tried, and I waited as I contemplated trying again. Yet, i cant be in a situation/relationshp/friendship by myself. So, on the car ride home he is talking up a storm.... and I hate it. Disgusted by it. He rubs my arm as apart of a joke and I snatch my arm away. I cant take it. I am boiling as I sit in the passenger seat. I call a friend of mine just to fill in the silence. Left a message. I cant wait to get out of the car. I thank him for the ride.... and I close the door behind me. I immediately walk into the house and i delete him from all of my friends list and email accounts. I closed the doos onhim b/c I am tired. So..... that part of my life is over.
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