So, I have a support group of some of my closest and use to be closest friends. The topic is weight loss and the trials that we go through in order to get fit/in shape/skinny/thick/trim/blah blah blah/& shut the hell up/& fit the status quo/& in a societal stereotypical nutshell... perfect
Below is on of my long winded responses to one of my friends. I hope it makes sense to everyone... but I meant every word of it from the heart. She is unique, blessed, and beautiful on the inside and out... and I dont mean that in a patronizing cause we're both plus sized girls kind of way... but I mean that honestly! No first week of American Idol "baby you can sing (when you really cant)" lies here... no sir-ree Bob!
SO here is my advice for her today:
Awww.. I feel the love! lol. I wonder why you and I weren't closer in school either. But girl, life comes full circle and I am glad to have you as my diva now! & that is all that matters.
I am glad that the list gave you an example to use when setting up organization and prioritizing. And when it comes to weight.... literally sit down and ask yourself when did you start to notice the weight gain then think about this:
1. What was going on around the time you noticed it
2. What habits were causing it
3. Why did you choose to let it continue
4. What tasks do you miss doing that weight has become an issue
I answered all of these. My answers were I noticed the weight gain when I became pregnant with Zay's daughter. The habits that caused the weight gain were stress from his ass, hormones from the pregnancy, and stress from family and [BEST SCHOOL EVER!] University. I chose to let it continue (at the time I didn't know that I was choosing it...but it was a choice) b/c it was convenient. It was convenient to grab McDonald's on the way to class, or eat out with my friends every night, and instead of hitting the gym, it was time to nap or party some more. It also became a shelter... an excuse later on. Once I reached a certain point my weight became a way for me to keep males like Zay away who would hurt me. B/c no man wants a plus size girl, right? But as my 29th birthday is sneaking up on me like the IRS to a bank account.. I am realizing that this here is me, but not who I want to be.. not any longer. I miss dancing how my brother Stephen and I use to on the dance team. I miss playing football on Saturdays with friends or faking like I can play basketball just to have something to do. I miss being able to go into any damn store that I want and buy clothes. I HATE being stuck in 4 stores (Ashley Stewart, Lane Bryant, Debbie's, & Torrid) where EVERY other plus size girl has to wear the same thing as me. And half the time the shit isn't even cute.. you need a PhD. in creativity to make some of that hideous stuff look even remotely cute! So.... I had answered my own question of "why me?" Hell... the answer was "B/c its me!"
Now that I had the answer to the above questions. I knew I needed support, less judgment, honesty and action. SO I started moving. I confess to my mistakes, stay blunt and open about it. and I keep it moving. The trick is to NOT lose your mojo b/c you think it is attached to a certain size of you... the trick is to know that your mojo is your best friend and that bitch is wearing the same damn size as you. She will never leave you. She will eat that pizza with you and walk with you on the track. Your mojo is a ride or eat chick! You decide. Embrace your current mojo. Love her as she is waiting to love you back. That love will translate into moving you into action.... trust me. At each size... once I had it in my head... I was sexy that day! Every morning I made my mojo wake the hell up and get on her job, no vacations. And when she was slipping... I gave her incentives to get better. It is a journey, diva. A journey that I am here with you if you need advice. Sorry I am long-winded... but I understand. Being close to 300lbs wasn't pretty. I have photos if you doubt that I got that big from the thin thing I was in high school.. but I did. And On Wednesday I said goodbye to another size... I don't plan on going back. If I can do it.. I know that you can.. and will. Love ya!
I am glad that the list gave you an example to use when setting up organization and prioritizing. And when it comes to weight.... literally sit down and ask yourself when did you start to notice the weight gain then think about this:
1. What was going on around the time you noticed it
2. What habits were causing it
3. Why did you choose to let it continue
4. What tasks do you miss doing that weight has become an issue
I answered all of these. My answers were I noticed the weight gain when I became pregnant with Zay's daughter. The habits that caused the weight gain were stress from his ass, hormones from the pregnancy, and stress from family and [BEST SCHOOL EVER!] University. I chose to let it continue (at the time I didn't know that I was choosing it...but it was a choice) b/c it was convenient. It was convenient to grab McDonald's on the way to class, or eat out with my friends every night, and instead of hitting the gym, it was time to nap or party some more. It also became a shelter... an excuse later on. Once I reached a certain point my weight became a way for me to keep males like Zay away who would hurt me. B/c no man wants a plus size girl, right? But as my 29th birthday is sneaking up on me like the IRS to a bank account.. I am realizing that this here is me, but not who I want to be.. not any longer. I miss dancing how my brother Stephen and I use to on the dance team. I miss playing football on Saturdays with friends or faking like I can play basketball just to have something to do. I miss being able to go into any damn store that I want and buy clothes. I HATE being stuck in 4 stores (Ashley Stewart, Lane Bryant, Debbie's, & Torrid) where EVERY other plus size girl has to wear the same thing as me. And half the time the shit isn't even cute.. you need a PhD. in creativity to make some of that hideous stuff look even remotely cute! So.... I had answered my own question of "why me?" Hell... the answer was "B/c its me!"
Now that I had the answer to the above questions. I knew I needed support, less judgment, honesty and action. SO I started moving. I confess to my mistakes, stay blunt and open about it. and I keep it moving. The trick is to NOT lose your mojo b/c you think it is attached to a certain size of you... the trick is to know that your mojo is your best friend and that bitch is wearing the same damn size as you. She will never leave you. She will eat that pizza with you and walk with you on the track. Your mojo is a ride or eat chick! You decide. Embrace your current mojo. Love her as she is waiting to love you back. That love will translate into moving you into action.... trust me. At each size... once I had it in my head... I was sexy that day! Every morning I made my mojo wake the hell up and get on her job, no vacations. And when she was slipping... I gave her incentives to get better. It is a journey, diva. A journey that I am here with you if you need advice. Sorry I am long-winded... but I understand. Being close to 300lbs wasn't pretty. I have photos if you doubt that I got that big from the thin thing I was in high school.. but I did. And On Wednesday I said goodbye to another size... I don't plan on going back. If I can do it.. I know that you can.. and will. Love ya!
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