Morning After

This poem was written the morning after I found out that Stephen Gitu had in fact lied about having a girlfriend. Check out my blog entry called HIV, Maybe for the full story. Who knew that a year and a half later I would come back to use the poem..... I should have gone with my instincts. Enjoy.

Morning After
By: Arch Nemesis

A.M. Hours
A midst the sunrise
Squinted eyes
High expectation
Moral devastations
Mental relays of social commentaries
Questions after
Knowledgably intended for before
Rewind rejected
Fast forward, expected
Getting played,
Detected
Now stop
Focus on the present
Because the truth is
For you
The morning after isn't just a pill
But a reality
And my reality happens to be this game that's in my head
Now it's too late to go back to before we went to bed
Or to fake like it never happened
Expecting more than what it was
And obviously it meant more to me than he because
He
Just shook my hand
Casually
Yet with intent
And I shook his hand back
It was surreal
It was like a hooker's morning exchange
Except with class
Because I owned no nightstand
No dollars pressed into my palm or left on my pillow
Though the aftermath had me preferring such
Because maybe a quantity would signify his judgment of my quality
Yet instead
I got a hand full of life lines
With the possibility of shortening mines
But I said nothing
Trying to play this big girls game in which I had now entered into
And I said nothing
Teetering on the line between hoe and emotional pro
So I still said nothing
Silently loosing count of the cells that are counted for life
Yet I still said nothing
I couldn't
I mean I should have but I guess the look on my face made him reply
And he said
Well I didn't know what else to do
And my thought was
We've passed the line of stranger about 8 hours and 2 Olympic acrobatic stunts ago
And so he leaned in and gave me a kiss
I thought it was forced
A common courtesy to appear nice to me
And I still said nothing
Plastered a smile on my face
Thinking I got what I deserved
A morning after response for the educated woman who took a turn at a not so educated game
And if there was a score being kept then I indeed lost
I should have checked my mate
Collected my $200 and went past go
Hit those shoots and ladders
Closed my eyes as I walked past the candy shop and ignore the urges to end up in candy land
But I now had my battle ship sunk
And he wouldn't be the uno for me
Yet he left me without a clue of how to play my hand
And if this were a game of spades my hand would be written on my face
No ace, no deuce
Just 2 jokers
Staring at each other
With extended hands
Expecting nothing
Since I asked of nothing in the beginning to ensure my safety in the end
Therefore I get nothing in return
But a palm full of life lines
Wondering if their's would end mines