I have this ..ummmm....
"THING" about guys and how they let their ex girlfriends function in their lives. I believe that everything a man and/or a woman does is a sign. So, my "THING", if you will, is about letting your ex be your ex or giving them the axe if they cant remember their place.
So, I HAD a cool friend. Unique even. I figured that he and I would be awesome friends. Honestly he is not even my type to date... I like muscular guys, a look that is faaaaaaaaaaaar different from his. But I figured that it couldnt hurt to open myself to his friendship and whatever happens..well.. happens.
Side bar: I have to give my definition of a date. I think that a date is when two people, be it opposite sex or same sex, stranger, friends, couple(s), or spouses chose to have an outing or an inning that is comprised of an amount of time specifically set aside to engage in any fitting activity with the partner of that event.
So, our first date went well. I thought that he was very suave. We went for gourmet pizza, conversation, & a movie. He was the perfect gentleman on all fronts. Just cool to hang with. I wasnt thinking that he was going to be my man, or that we would raise tons of children, hell I was just excited to be in the presence of someone who could hold an intelligent conversation minus comments about sex or objectifying me. The second "date" was just a lounge gathering at my house. PET PEEVE of mine is to be late, and he was... but I let it slide. We had a heated debate which ended with me taking him home. I didnt hear from him for a while but was glad to hear from him when I eventually did. And we just picked the conversations back up and kept it moving. He was my friend and I thought that I was his. I told him about other guys (which girls dont do if they are thinking of dating this guy...therefore automatically putting him in the present friend zone). Again, he has suave appeal but I wasnt trying to be his girlfriend any time soon.
Well, last night he and I had scheduled to talk late in the evening and so I hit him up on Twitter and told him to hit me up when he signed on b/c I would be at the house. After speaking with him I posted on Twitter that I had just had a wonderful conversation with (Enter his Fraternity Line Name Here) and that I enjoyed it and was going to sleep. Something else caught my eye and I posted a few more updates and then I posted the following (paraphrased):
"I cant wait for my date tomorrow: Food, Great conversation (as always), Laughs.....and then on to Bible Study. I cant wait."
I personally thought that it was harmless. I saw the date as the food and conversation and I separated Bible Study as something all by itself. I was actually honored that he had invited me to Bible Study with him. Until this morning. I am waking up to shut down my computer and he sends me a Yahoo! IM that his ex girlfriend back home was angry at the post that I put on Twitter. He then proceeds to tell me that he didnt think that Bible Study was a date and that he doesnt think his ex would contact me but he was just giving me a heads up. I AM HEATED!!!!! I ever so politely tell him that it wasnt how he took it, I wont post anything else about him, and I dont like the fact that he has someone stalking his damn updates and anyone who writes to him, & that he didnt have to worry about tonight, tomorrow, or any other night following that and asked that he please stop talking to me. Extreme? No... here's why:
First off, I drove all the way to work this morning trying to figure out what didnt quite make damn sense about the entire thing. I replayed the events in my mind and found loop holes, a crazy ex, a shady cover, and a deja vu of past conversations with my exes in reference to their ex.... so I had to nip this in the bud. I wrote on Twitter around 9pm with a tag to him to call me b/c I was in the house. Around 2am I post that I just got off the phone with (Insert Line Name here), then around 2:30am I posted something about my date. If in fact his ex didnt like my comment... this chick stalked my page. Only the first status had his name in it. The last two, one had his line name and one made no reference to him at all.... not to mention that she waited well over 5 hours to read the last two remarks (which were 30 minutes apart) and then tell him that she was upset about it. Can we say... CHICK GET OFF HIS NUTS?!!!
Secondly, I can tell a ton about a dude based on how he talks to, interacts with, or references his ex. First off... he should have put her in check and told her that what he does with his life and his time is none of her business. But, he didnt. Then he comes and warns me that she is angry like I gives a damn. Sorry... but My ummmm...."I gives a damn"...... has been in the shop for years! I dont plan on putting a down payment on the repair bill any time soon, either. Then he should have come to me if and only if he had a legit problem with my posting. Even then, he should have asked me what I meant by it instead of assuming that I was dumb enough to consider a church gathering a date! WHO DOES THAT? He should have known that I thought we were merely friends, or ask me what I thought we were before jumping to conclusion that by date I meant he was my man. YOU WISH! The jacked up part about it is that he knows I am going through a lot lately and he chose to tell me this early in the morning. Took all I could not to wish him to get hit by a bus! I hate it when people cant tell you something at an appropriate time or manner. IMs, Texts, and emails are NEVER the appropriate way to tell someone something like that because the tone never comes out right.... and in a stereotypical fashion... I didnt like his TONE!! lol
In the end, what I saw was a guy who was concerned more about what an ex thought rather than take the time to investigate. How would she know what I wrote when it wasnt on his page, why is she all up on my page, and whether I meant what he thought I meant. Guys who let their ex girlfriends that much into their life are trouble.. I know because I have been the ex girlfriend all up in the mix! So, he is booted... finished. And since his ex girlfriend likes to read so damn much..... read this: KISS MY BIBLE, right in the CREASE/CRACK; somewhere between Revelations and get a life!!!
And for you.... the guy... choose better women to stay in your life.
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