Daddy

Hey yall... wrote this. Need feedback. I like the concept but might scrap some or all of it and rework it. Well. I am sleepy. ttyl. God bless!


Daddy
6-24-09

My daddy doesn’t come into my bedroom
any more
Well
Not like he abuse to
But my boyfriends keep requesting that I call them daddy
Unfortunately
I remember what it felt like to be pressed down between old spice and Linens & Things
Watched as I undressed for nightly baths
Stripped searched in cavities
When the dentist said I had none
Spread eagle with a bald eagle
Before I knew it was apart of America’s pride
Covered in baby oil while he rubbed me down
With Newport drenched drool running down my neck
As he introduced me to the Slow grind
& jean burned labia
And never once did he have to question
Who’s your daddy
Because he knew it
Didn’t need to be reminded
Hell
Didn’t want to be reminded
He in his jacked up world
And I black out
Thanking time for wherever it went
Finding freedom in ignorance
Though it was not bliss
Only to come full circle to
This
Jacked up notion that the subtle thought of incest is best
Twista
Got you twisted
Because you were doing good
But I’ma have to leave you and do better
I was wet,
But mention of my daddy in a sexual situation
Does not make me wetter
It makes me question
When did it become okay
To suggest we take it to the bedroom to reenact R Kelly’s adult vs child play
Finding it sexy for a grown man to request you dress in less than adult fits
Catholic school girl preferably
Just so he can rise to the occasion and knit pick at your grades
Anally
Unable to see that the subtle seeds are being dropped for him to become a real teacher’s pet
Take time and invest in becoming the pain in a 4th grader’s ass
Bullying your morals
And picking a new best friend when your costume
You can no longer fit in
The only thing stopping him from asking you your favorite Barney episode
Is that private schools don’t allow red high heel
It’s like a predator call without dateline
Because if you ask me who’s my daddy,
It means that you don’t know me
And need to get the hell up off me
And though I consented
You envisioned a minor
Took the safe route and checked my id in efforts to dodge felony charges
Unable to understand my sheer expression of disgust in your request
As if my answering with
This sorry son of a bitch by the name of
Charles Sigroy Carter Jr who continuously molested me
Would actually be sexy enough of an answer for you to scream out
Ahh baby that’s what I’m talking about
In order for us to proceed
Negro please
It is still a crime
Because deep down inside
I will always be the little girl having asthma attacks
Because his weight crushed my flesh
Allergic to cigarette smoke
Because the smell ejaculated on his tongue
& impregnated my lungs through my lack of a 9 year old chest
Praying that I can one day find a sexual equal
Not a another Chester the molester
Who touches me under the table during thanksgiving
So no I can not call you daddy in the house
Talk like a little girl; soft like a mouse
I do not like it here or there
I will never like it anywhere
You cant be my daddy
I don’t need you to be my daddy
Because my daddy no longer comes in my bedroom,
Well
Not like he abuse to