And He Said

And he Said by Me:


Dream

me

about he

ideal

surreal

yet

in a trance

aspirations

formulated

desperation

procreated

reality

masturbated

the possibility of there being a "we"

and he said

she looks better than you

post relationships

no hesitation to reject my feminine imitations

broken

sent of his flesh

playing hide and seep

with my flesh

meshed into fantasies

again when truth springs

and he said

I'd like to see your big butt

cut off abrupt

too late

I heard

I chuckle

store the words

cut him off

he doesn’t know it yet

it hurt

but thanks

I know you now

thanks



So this little impromptu poem came about when a guy who I was feeling seems to let things slip out of his mouth and I am forced to listen. I can’t pretend like I don’t hear his words any more and remain quiet as I hurt.


SO yesterday, he did a wonderful thing, he heard that I was looking to buy a bike...so he sold me his. Great! cut out the middle man, saved me some money... now I can get my fit on. Then he asks if I was going to ride this bike to the subway every morning for work. At which I replied, no...but it sounded like a good idea. To which he replied, “Oh, cause I would love to see your big butt riding...." as he cuts off mid stream as he realizes what just came out of his mouth. Or maybe he didn’t realize. Maybe he continued the joke and I was too overwhelmed with pain to notice. Words like that don’t make me feel good. They don’t make me want to run and hug the nearest person and ask them to go to Disney Land with me.... those words hurt. But at least I know that he would get humor out of seeing my "big butt" riding down the street in efforts to try to get fit. Thanks.....now I know how you really feel. Playing or not... I'm tired of your tongue slipping or your brain just not giving a damn about my feelings. I'm done. Thanks for the bike.