Baby Fat

Baby Fat

by: Arch Nemesis

She wrote graffiti on the walls of my uterus
Art investments
Tangled in our Siamese intestines
and called my waistline
Bull-ish
Needle-nosed intimidation to my calcium intake
With fat rolls on her pay roll
She was her father’s child
And my baby fat
Daddy half Rican part negro
Mama be Rican too other half Nigerfied
Creation of artistic proportions
Hope personified
She is 2 wholes
Destined to leave a legacy
Although she’s just
Jiggly jello spicy jalapeños
He gave her sugar at night
heart burn affirmed the spice
Hope
was what every girl was made of
She be my reason to stay home from class
Cause I got nauseous at the sight of math
I passed
Hush little baby don’t say a word
I know they said that your Daddy will deny you
But for now,
Just F**k what you heard
Cause mama will be here always
And if that mocking bird don’t sing
Mama will still love you without your daddy’s ring
I’m glad I uttered those words to a stretch mark in the shape of a heart through swollen breasts without a promise
Cause mother Hubbard
Stored emergency money in her cupboard
For girls like me who
Hung around that lady who lived in the shoe
Cause I had myself a baby with whom I didn’t know what to do
And I loved her through my tears
Carressed her through my fears
Told her I would see her again
And I sent her on her way
She’s with her grandmother now
Great-great grandmother too
So I’m not worried
Just missing my baby fat
Never tried to lose the shape that once housed Hope
Afraid she’d fly down on the wings of Gabriele to tell me I was wrong
So I kept the home of future generations but too afraid to lease out to new tenants cause I don’t want to give up on Hope
Afraid that her departure done wash all the spiders away
So I hold on to my baby fat like I’ve got hope back
And a decade done come and gone
Proof apparent that no one is home
She’s not coming back
She whispered this in dreams of purple sunflowers and fuchsia daffodils
Told mama to gone on and be happy
Guilt gone
She flapped her wings to put the wind at my back when I run
I’ve got to put her legacy in the mouths of babes
And if I stand in a choice of Roe v Wade I choose both
For I would row across any ocean
And wade through the depths of hell to hug her
Tell her I love her
And tell her I held on for so long
And that she will always be
My baby fat.

Line of Scrimmage

Football

by: Arch Nemesis

He replies
Because I’m a man and all men do that
But
When She says
All men are the same
He wants to dodge the team’s name
To which I reply
How am I to tell you apart then,
If you all wear the same uniforms just different colors
Perplexed was he
Elaborating I proceed
If a +b=c
Then Player + Gentleman has got to equal Team
Man
See
If this here relationship were equated to football
I’d be offensive
‘Cause I’ve got you on the defensive
Trying to protect your rightful place in your manhood
And just how you learned the game from another man
And you held it as truth,
I too learned the game from another man
Long before this definition given by you
So you cant expect me to give up my understanding to the rules of the game in the 4th quarter
I keep trying to block your running back
But your tight end’s got me on lock
I keep getting sacked
And I tried to see you
But these players keep pulling on my face guard
And you cant seem to understand
How I am tired of this unsportsmanlike conduct
And why the hell I want my Quarterback
Cant seem to understand that I am the owner to your Team
And you…
Are about to get traded
I’m at the line of scrimmage trying to wait for the truth of my words to snap
Blue 22
You aint 22
Sike!
You may be a vet in this game
But these young bucks are giving your team a bad name
And some how the T.O.’s of your gender are synonymous with your game
It looks like you’ve got some Patriots in your stand
And they’ve got your plays on lock
though in your stats you may be a star
But word around the stadium says that ALL Detroit Lions aint –ish
I know it isn’t fair
Yet many of coaches have gotten fired when their teams don’t perform well
You cant get on the field and run for them
But at some point Coach, you got to take responsibility for your players
And saying “I’m not him” should no longer be a reliable audible
Because every time I turn on my tv I could care less who is on the field
All I see is the Team
And there is no I in team
So I suggest you go to your locker room and give your teammates a pep talk
As I will to mine
Because this is just football after all
And All men love football right.

So, this poem came from the idea of how guys think that women are crazy for holding them to what past relationships have done. And so, in speaking with a guy friend of mine.... he agreed to my theory. Even though this poem may be re-written, the idea remains the same. How is a woman supposed to tell a player from the players if you all wear the same jersey?

Confused? Well think this. It has been said to me and several females that maybe it is the places that we go that attract the wrong men. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be attracted to anyone at church, the grocery store, my single friends, or the entire artistic community...lol. So now that I am completely secluded from the entire community, I definitely won’t find a guy. SO that frame of thinking is flawed.

Disclaimer: I know that ALL guys are not bad, and that BAD guys give the GOOD guys a bad name. And Yes, GOOD and BAD guys can be found in many of the same places. Which reiterates my question....how am I suppose to know.

Scenario:
I am in the club jammin'. I see a wall full of guys posted (because in DC they don’t dance the guys just post! And if I am lying, go down south, watch some guys dance and then get back to me. Don’t worry, I'll wait. Tick tock tick tock tick tock. Post, right? Okay cool, now I shall proceed). Some guys have locks, some guys are clean shaven, some are thuggy, and some preppy, some average, and some are straight metro suspectual (Yes... I said it... METRO SUSPECTUAL!!! This is a blog all in and of itself! And if you hear anyone else say it... I created it, those thieves!lmao) So, which one is the bad guy?

One guy walks over to me, clean shaven, well kept, polite manners, and well-spoken. He introduces himself and asks to dance, to which I gladly oblige. As things progress, we exchange numbers and get to know one another outside of the club. Over time, he becomes possessive, mentally abusive, and his attitude completely changes. But he looked like a good guy, right?

Scenario:
I'm at a church event and it is single's ministry. This thug looking guy walks over to me and I am somewhat turned off by his appearance, but we converse. We meet up at several church events and eventually we start courting because he says that is what he believes in. Over time, I come to find out he is dating other females in the church behind my back. Now, how was I supposed to know? He looked and acted like a good Christian guy, right?

So translation. When a female says that all men are the same.....it is true. We never said you were completely the same, but the same none the less. There is like a magical play book that you all read and live by that we will never be able to decipher and this play book has been played on us in so many ways. The last guy said I was beautiful and that he would like me to meet his mother, but never mentioned he didn’t want me to meet his wife and kids. SO when you say it....what are you hiding?

We are on the field, down at the line of scrimmage and I am trying to figure out if this QB is going to run some of the same plays as the last QB from my game last week. On the offensive side, I can’t look just directly in front of me. I have to be able to stay in my pocket and look all around me as not to get sacked. I don’t have defensive lineman to protect me, I just have past experiences that can put up a block or two until I see an opening that I feel like throwing my heart to. Every single day, much like 2-A-Days, we hear the same old plays as we walk down the street. We know what that look means, we know when our "supporters/fans" start to boo & hissing at us, that it isn’t a good thing...and no matter what, hitting me on the ass is NOT apart of sports (kind of Suspectual if you ask me).

You all have on the same jersey; the I AM MAN HEAR ME ROAR logo tatted on your helmets. We see it, we appreciate it, but we as females need you to understand that one member messed up the entire team's image. We need the team captain to step it up and talk to his teammates. We need you to speak up when you see a guy mistreating a woman on the street. We need you to make better contract deals in the first place and not letting your previous management mess you up so badly that you don’t trust what this management is trying to set in place for you. (Hypocritical, right? Ummm no....) FEMENIST CLOSE YOUR EYES! Females were designed to be followers. On or off the field everyone pretty much relies on the QB. I can’t get my yardage unless the QB throws it to me. The QB could do it all himself if he chose, which some are choosing to do, which is leading us to think.... why do you need us then? It is a hard game. But some team captains need to step it up, yes.....step it up I said, because we want to be on your team. We want to be apart of your booster club, your cheerleaders, and your press team. But the way that we have been treated only make us feel like we are the ball boys (pun intended) and who wants to deal with sweaty balls all day?

It’s about communication. You start with the football players and I will start talking to my divas, and not so much a divas, over here on the cheerleading squad and then we will get together to see how we can make this a successful Playoff Season. Everyone in a huddle..... Black Love on 3. 1! 2! 3! BLACK LOVE!!!

Box

Box

by: Arch Nemesis

I tried to write myself up out this box
Tell myself that I understood
But it was a lie
And it erased itself
See
I cant see past my two degrees
And understand that you
Have a different meaning for keeping your ear to the streets
When unmarked cars wiz past you
It’s true
Never saw violence until I hit the burrows of D.C
Hood wars was something created on TV
The hardest I got, was fighting in school because this chick talked out the side of her neck
Yet
That
Doesn’t make me hood
So who the hell am I to even attempt to try?
To bring you out of your pain
When I complain
How my Expedition needs service I can’t afford
Bored to the notion that anyone’s pain could be worse than mine
Please help me write myself out of this box
This self approved
Predated
Accelerated point of view
A view that have become outdated with self righteousness dripping with prejudice for those unlike me
Cover me in your truth
And maybe I could begin to see
Maybe I could begin to feel
Because right now
I’m not feeling
I’m just revealing and hoping that you get it too
Hate on me
I need it
Talk about me….I want it
Cuss me out so I can move past it
But lay your hands on me, and I will show you what an educated ass whoopin feels like
I got to write
I want to write
I need to write myself up out of this box
This here imaginary box that some how confines me to short range thinking
I need to write

And He Said

And he Said by Me:


Dream

me

about he

ideal

surreal

yet

in a trance

aspirations

formulated

desperation

procreated

reality

masturbated

the possibility of there being a "we"

and he said

she looks better than you

post relationships

no hesitation to reject my feminine imitations

broken

sent of his flesh

playing hide and seep

with my flesh

meshed into fantasies

again when truth springs

and he said

I'd like to see your big butt

cut off abrupt

too late

I heard

I chuckle

store the words

cut him off

he doesn’t know it yet

it hurt

but thanks

I know you now

thanks



So this little impromptu poem came about when a guy who I was feeling seems to let things slip out of his mouth and I am forced to listen. I can’t pretend like I don’t hear his words any more and remain quiet as I hurt.


SO yesterday, he did a wonderful thing, he heard that I was looking to buy a bike...so he sold me his. Great! cut out the middle man, saved me some money... now I can get my fit on. Then he asks if I was going to ride this bike to the subway every morning for work. At which I replied, no...but it sounded like a good idea. To which he replied, “Oh, cause I would love to see your big butt riding...." as he cuts off mid stream as he realizes what just came out of his mouth. Or maybe he didn’t realize. Maybe he continued the joke and I was too overwhelmed with pain to notice. Words like that don’t make me feel good. They don’t make me want to run and hug the nearest person and ask them to go to Disney Land with me.... those words hurt. But at least I know that he would get humor out of seeing my "big butt" riding down the street in efforts to try to get fit. Thanks.....now I know how you really feel. Playing or not... I'm tired of your tongue slipping or your brain just not giving a damn about my feelings. I'm done. Thanks for the bike.

Nerd Prince

So,

I was at a fav poetry spot just minding my own business, when a friend of mine walks into the spot. Hoooooooooooooooooot!!!!!! I mean, he has been in my face for the past two years and I noticed him...but I didnt notice him. Oddly enough, it was something as simple as contacts. Yes, contacts!

He usually wears these glasses that make him look kind of nerdy, but everything else is average and hot. I mean he has his muscles, his nice smile, a deep voice like I like....but damn those glasses...lol. And he always has them so I didnt know if I could let go of my vainness in order to see past the glasses. But he walks in with contacts and his entire face lights up right before me and now.....he looks hot! He doesnt fit into my regular mode of who I would date, but something about being able to see his face without the glasses made him hella sexy to me. He is also different in his mannerisms, how he behaves socially, and how he treats women in general and that I have always noticed.

So, I guess it is good that I noticed him, but sucks because I dont think that he noticed me. Or if he has notcied me, he damn sure hasnt said anything about it. I will just sit back and remain cool, but hot dang it!!!! Did I mention that hewas HOT!!!!!????? This just goes to show that there can be a hot stud behind the nerdy glasses and quirky mannerisms that are staring you directly in your face.

I am learning to open my eyes to other guys that dont fit into my small window of hotness. And as I do that, I am finding more and more guys who I am finding attractive and are quality eligible bachelors. I am proud of myself, because I would want people to think that I was worth dating as well. So, though my standards are still high, they have a wider platform for people to stand on while they await for me to notice their worth. Wow, that sounded horrible, but dah well. I am growing. Still Noooo where near wanting to get married.....just chilling and loving learning about healthy relationships. But if this sexy nerd friend of mine comes up missing.... I promise you that I have him held hostage in my closet behind a glass door just so I can stare at him....lol.

So my public service announcement: Please be nice to the nerds. They may one day be the Frog Prince that I was looking for!!!!

Hoodzilla in The Office!!!

So, why is it that every time an African American woman walks into an office she has to do everything her way? Why is it so hard for her to adapt to change?

I have been at my current place of employment for several months now without any problems. None whatsoever to be exact, but what in the hell is it with this new girl? She came in and wowed us in the interview and turned into hoodzilla upon entering the office. I have more than just one problem with her, I have a ton!!!!!!! My problems with her are as follows:

1. Complaints followed by Medical Mysteries: This trick complains about everything. I LIE TO YOU NOT, PEOPLE, EVERY-THANG!!!! If it has anything to do with the job, she complains about it. She is in envy of my plush, comfortable chair and tried to gank it from me. I had to put a stop to that quick, but not before she would drop hints about her knees hurting or her rubbing my headrest while training her...oh not to mention her sitting in my seat when I walked away to get something from the printer. When asked to move some files from a lower cabinet, she now has lower back problems and wonders if she can change them to a higher cabinet. When asked to write something down off of a screen, now she cant see and is farsighted, you know the ability to see things up close...lol. ( That was her explanation...when in fact farsighted is the inability to see things up close and the ability to see things far away). And since she is so freakin "farsighted" this is what causes her to place her books on the desk in front of her and bend completely oover with her face damn near buried in the book, which then causes her to get cricks and cramps in her neck and shoulders. She gets up and runs, yes people, she runs around the office because she says that she has rheumatoid arthritis and cannot sit still for a long period of time. Mind you, none of these medical mysteries were presented on her resume or application stating that she would need special care/treament or changes to her enviornment.

2. Hoodzilla: This girl is the most gold digggerish having person that I have ever come across in an employment situation. I mentioned that we may go out to lunch with our boss, to which Hoodzilla so swiftly inquired, " Is she paying?" Or the time that I said we may go to another building to get a few of the treats and, you guessed it, Hoodzilla says, " This ish is free, right?" Or the fact that Hoodzilla goes out of her way to ask our High Ranking Military COL if the rest of the office can be included on a tour and meeting for an upcoming conference. Tacky, Tacky, Tacky, Tacky. Or Like how yesterday she didnt buy breakfast because she was expecting our supervisor to bring donuts for everyone because he had done so the first week she started, and now the bitched starved the morning away.....that what she gets. She is trying to get something out of everything she does rather than coming in and learning the enviornment and figuring out where she fits in. I promise you that nothing aggravates me more than a hood rat looking for hand outs!

3. Been there & Done that!!!: She is quick to let us know that she has previously worked for an Admiral and almost became a government employee, and yadda yadda yadda.....therefore in the infamous words of Positive-K, remixed of course, " Bitch, what does your previous employment record have to do with me?" To which her hood ass replies, " I'm not trying to hear that see!" BEcause she cant take direction. Something as simple as please stand beside the copier I am about to print out a booklet for you was ignored as she chose to wait for it all to pile up. At which time she came back to take 30 minutes of my time trying to figure out how the binder was suppose to look because the copier ran out of paper, someone moved the stuff around in her absence, and she wasnt sure which order the papers were to be presented...mind you all of this could have been avoided if she would have just stood by the copier like I asked her to do. But of course, at her last job she would just hit print and get it all at once. Well, we keep trying to tell her that you last boss, Admiral or not, aint got -ish on our COL. And she needs to wisen up and fast!

4. Nasty Girl: Do you know that this scandalous heffa went into the bathroom, saw the Home & Gardens magazine and decided that she would take it out of our public restroom and bring it back into our office so that she could read the articles!!!!!!! She was placing files on top of the magazine, and ate a few inches away from it, and not once did it dawn on her nasty ass what the magazine was doing in the bathroom in the first place....BUT THAT IT EVEN CAME FROM THE BATHROOM!!!!! We straight Lysoled her desk down and then wiped it down with Clorox wipes because she had no common sense whatsoever.

I took her into the conference room this morning and told her about herself, to which she said that she felt me being nasty towards her. I admitted that I am a reactionistic type person and I was merely reacting to the nonsense that she was issuing. We walked out with fake grins and I still cant stand her. Because she is making my job harder by trying to fix what she keeps messing up. (In my best Sophia from COlor Purple Voice) I Loves dis job, God knows I do, But I'll kill her dead for I let her mess up my money!!!! Now someone needs to reach out and touch that sister, quick, because I have a different kind of touch in mind.

This doesnt make sense how we, as Black sisters, act towards one another; it can all be avoided if you ask me. There has to be a ground in which she doesnt think I am trying to dominate her, and I am fully aware that she is going to do things in her own way....and all that I am asking is that she respect my time and space without dirupting my process in the formation of her process. I want to see how long she lasts here.... because I am not the only one with this problem.

Arch Nemesis has spoken!~

Your Husband Forgot he was Married, NOT Me!

So, recently I was on one of my many websites and of course it is one of those sites where it advertises as a way to connect with your friends but has turned into an undercover dating site. Well, I am all for meeting new people so I chose to keep the site. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t take sexual pics, never have and never will, so all of my pics are me in tasteful outfits and possibly out and about with my friends. Yet, my pics seem to grab guys' attention and conversations start from there.

Well, this one guy , screen name Kuntry Kool, decided that he thought I was cute. Sent me a message that said, " I like your dress in your pic." I replied with a simple thank you and left it at that. He had only been my friend for about 2 days. When all of a sudden, his wife hits me up with the following remarks:

This is Derrick's wife. This fool is my husband of 6 years and we have a 5 year old son. Obviously Derrick is extremely stupid or he would not e-mail you from my work computer. He has spent all 6 years of our marriage screwing around. Oh yea, we got together because he was supposed to be a man of God! Keep moving sister! He ain't worth any headache! No matter what my husband tells you. He is still with me and in my bed!

To which I so humbly replied:
Wow,Ummm... well congratulations on your marriage. And I would appreciate it if you would come to me with the respect that I would show you. I am not trying to get with your husband. Wasn’t interested. It is just cool to meet people. I don’t even know where he is from. I just talk to people, crack jokes, and keep it moving. So you remained blessed and I hope that all is well with you in the future. God bless!

But oh no.... she couldn’t leave it at that so this disgruntle wife decides to take it a step further by saying:

IF YOU WERE SO RESPECTABLE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE YOUR ASS POSTED ON THIS WEB SITE.

And if you know me, you know I couldn’t let it go down like that:

God bless you, sister. My "rear end" isn’t plastered on this site. I have respectable pictures on here. I still treat you with the utmost respect because I understand what it is like to not have enough self-esteem to leave someone and instead go after another female who you deem to be a threat. It's okay, everyone cant have an elevated sense of consciousness. And I will pray for you on that one. In the meantime... again, I don’t want your husband...he is on my friend's list but I've only spoken to him a few times. I don’t date married people off of the internet, not my style. But Again, I wish you much more self-esteem and the courage to handle your business with your husband and the intelligence in the future to come to the women who he converses to with more respect than you have given. Because I cant know.... what he denies. And that holds true because his relationship status on his page says SINGLE. Therefore, what he is denying, sadly enough, IS YOU!!!! Now I would carry on with this battle of wits, but I see that you, dear heart, are ill prepared. And no need in replying because you, your low self-esteem, ,your disrespectful behind and your trifling husband will be reported and blocked. Good luck with that. God bless! ~~The Bigger & Better Woman between the Two!

Now I know I could have just left it alone, but I couldn’t. Why is it that she found her husband's account on her computer and she feels the need to come after me with all of her anger and disrespect? HIS page said SINGLE! HE is YOUR Husband! I am just a woman on the computer having fun not knowing that his status is a lie.... so why am I attacked for being on a site when I don’t solicit sex or act a fool like the rest of these women.

So, should I be blamed for her husband forgetting that he was married? I mean I know I have that affect on men, but damn... should the drama be brought to my door?

Women, ladies, hookers hoes, females in training, etc. DO NOT COME AFTER THE OTHER WOMAN UNLESS SHE IS A RELATIVE OR A FRIEND WHO KNOWS YOUR SITUATION!!!! Reasons being:
1. If he can deceive you and you have ties to his credit & bank accounts....then what makes you think he hasn’t lied to us by telling us that he is single or recently divorced, etc.

2. I do believe that I don’t know you, and you don’t know me...which means that HE made it that way for a reason....and in my opinion you should keep it that way.

3. I was NOT present at your wedding, I didn’t catch the bouquet, I didn’t take pics of the cake, nor did I do the electric slide.....so I am not held to the vows that you two made before God and your families....so when he cheats....HE should be the sole one you attack.

4. Never attack a woman in a disrespectful manner and then turn around and call her disrespectful. Hypocrisy got married to Ignorance much like your husband denying you, honey; you are magnifying your lack of class for coming at an innocent female.

5. If you feel the need to confront the other woman, do it as an informational. Ask her if she knew he was married, ask how long they have been conversing, etc. Because only REAL women know that you use your enemy for information you don’t kill the tie you dumb trick!

6. Handle the problem with your man, and your man alone.... I shouldn’t know your business, I should know that your man has enough power to drive you crazy enough that you have to come out of the pocket on a website to attack me while also showing that you have little respect for yourself by stating that you stayed with a man for 6 years while he continues to sleep around. Smart, If I didn’t already know you were stupid....this right here would make you a genius!

What it all boils down to ladies is us taking responsibility for our own actions. You chose to get into a relationship, you chose to stay, and therefore you mustn’t blame someone else for the actions of the repeat offender that shares a bed with you. Please, don’t bring any drama to my door....because I'm crazy....no seriously, I'm clinically crazy and I will tap dat ass!!!! So go on back home with your husband and deal with that mess. Ya dig!

Arch Nemesis has Spoken~